


Is Everything Okay?

by AceandShadow



Series: Inside the Guardian [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Doom, Enemies, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Helplessness, Pressure, Questions, Time - Freeform, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceandShadow/pseuds/AceandShadow
Summary: Is Everything Okay?With everything the Guardians face, questions arise with so few answers to quell the fears inside and no-one knows what could happen or what to do. One Guardian thinks over the what ifs...
Series: Inside the Guardian [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680844
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Is Everything Okay?

Is everything okay?

The world is falling apart around us, and we must pretend that we’re on top of the job. I feel the pressure envelope me as I jump into my ship.

Is everything okay?

I hold a gun in my hand – supposed to be more powerful than the last – and I use it in cold blood because that’s what I’ve been told to do. I feel the guilt set inside me like stone.

Is everything okay?

Me and my friends, my comrades…we must continue increasing our power and increasing our connection to the Light because our enemies gain on us. They’re learning our moves faster than we can adapt and we are running out of ideas. I feel the weakness surround me…consume me…

Is everything okay?

We face threats day in and day out, yet we have never faced anything quite like that which approaches. Day by day we fight menial threats only buying our time until the great one arrives. We don’t know what to expect. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know the price we will pay when it comes – what we will lose… _who_ we will lose. I look to my Ghost who has always had my back and I can only think about how our days together could be numbered.

If I lost him, I’d lose myself.

I go about my day the same as always – I report for duty, I run strikes, I train in the Crucible, I help teach Kinderguardians raids – but everyday becomes a weight upon my soul as, subconsciously, I am aware of our impending doom and I, alone, cannot face it. I am clueless as to how to help, except keep going about my day as if the end isn’t drawing near.

I am not allowed to fear. Not for myself. Not for my fellow Guardians. Not for anyone. My job is to protect. To defend and no one can protect or defend when their legs are giving way beneath them – crumbling under the pressure.

There are thousands of innocent lives in that City. They all believe in the Traveler. They believe in us – the Guardians.

What if… what if we can’t deliver?

What if the Collapse is about to happen again?

Under our watch…

These people barely survived the first. They’re all that’s left of what was.

We worked hard to bring them back and rebuild what we could.

We can’t fail this time.

_I_ can’t fail this time.

Is everything okay?

At this point, I don’t know who I’m trying to convince – me or them. I’m out of words when I am approached on the street and asked, “are we okay?”

“is it happening again?”

“what’s going on?”

“is everything okay?”

They know what’s up. They know that we aren’t okay. They can sense the fear on us. On me.

Is everything okay?

I ask this every day. I ask Zavala. I ask Ikora. I look down on the City and I ask them. I look up to our ‘saviour’ and I ask, “is everything okay?”

If it could respond to our pleas for answers, I almost fear what it would say. I am lost.

Is it the reason we’re in this mess?

Does it have a plan to help?

What is in its past that has it on the run?

Why here?

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?!

No.

I don’t think it is. It’s a daunting concept to believe that we are not okay. It’s a daunting concept to believe that we couldn’t stop the Darkness from coming in the first place and now we must deal with this head-on, on the spot and hit it with everything we’ve got.

We have dealt with threat after threat, god after god, time after time.

No.

Everything is not okay. But it has never _been_ okay, and I don’t think it ever will be.

When the day comes that shines favourably upon us and everything _is_ okay… That will be the day that the system no longer needs Guardians. The system would no longer need me.

I will still fight for that day because that’s what we fight for.

But for now, I shall push back against the pressure, I shall harden myself against the guilt and I shall welcome my weakness. I’ll take on the fear and we will all fight our threats head on because everything is not okay.

And that’s okay.


End file.
